Do You Actually Like One on Ones?

Do You Actually Like Your One-on-Ones?

Or are you just sitting through them? Here’s how to run effective one-on-ones that your team actually values.

Let me ask you something most people won’t say out loud:

Do you actually get anything out of your 1:1s?

Not just “they’re fine.”

Not just “we check in.”

I mean real value.

Because if you’re walking out of those meetings feeling unchanged, unclear, or unheard… then something is off.

What a 1:1 Is Supposed to Do

A one-on-one should benefit you just as much, if not more, than your leader.

That’s the standard.

You should be walking away with:

• A clear growth path in your career

• Better understanding of your role and expectations

• A space where your voice actually matters

If you’re not getting those things, you’re not in a productive 1:1.

You’re in a routine meeting.

What a 1:1 Is Not

Let’s call this out clearly.

A 1:1 is not:

• A status update

• A report-out session

• A planning meeting

Those have their place—but not here.

This time should be focused on you.

Your growth.

Your clarity.

Your direction.

What Do You Do If Yours Isn’t Working?

This is where most people get stuck.

They sit in bad 1:1s for months… sometimes years… waiting for their leader to fix it.

Here’s the truth:

You don’t have to wait.

Take Control of the Conversation

Over the years, I built a 1:1 leadership toolkit designed for leaders.

But here’s what most people don’t realize:

There’s no reason you can’t use that same structure yourself.

If you’ve never experienced a strong, growth-focused 1:1… then build one.

• Think about where you want to grow

• Identify what clarity you’re missing

• Outline what a productive conversation would look like

Then bring it into the room.

Not as a complaint.

Not as a challenge.

But as a step forward.

What’s the Worst That Happens?

You ask:

What’s the worst outcome?

You stay exactly where you are today.

But the upside?

You completely change the value of every future conversation.

This Is Called Managing Up

Taking ownership of your growth isn’t overstepping.

It’s leadership.

I call it managing up—not in a political way, but in a responsible one.

You’re not waiting to be developed.

You’re stepping into it.

Final Thought

If your 1:1 isn’t helping you grow, don’t just sit in it.

Build what it should be.

Then bring it forward.

Because your career shouldn’t depend on whether someone else runs a good meeting.

It should depend on whether you’re willing to take ownership of it.

If this hit home for you, I’ve built something to help.

1:1 Leadership Toolkit

Over the years, I created a 1:1 Leadership Toolkit designed to turn these conversations into real growth sessions, not just routine meetings.

It walks you through:

·       How to structure a meaningful 1:1

·       What to bring into the conversation

·       How to focus on your growth, not just your tasks

Whether you’re a leader or someone looking to take control of your development, this gives you a clear path forward.

If you’re ready to stop sitting through 1:1s and start getting value from them, this is for you.

👉 1:1 Leadership Bundle

🔍 Preview: What a Strong 1:1 Looks Like

Before you even get the toolkit, here’s a simple structure you can start using immediately:

1. Start With You (5–10 min)

What’s working? What’s not? Where do you feel stuck?

2. Growth Focus (10–15 min)

• What skills are you building?

• Where do you want to go next?

• What do you need more exposure to?

3. Clarity + Direction (10 min)

• Expectations

• Priorities

• Any confusion in your role

4. Open Space, Usually the Leaders Closing (5 min)

Anything that needs to be said—but usually isn’t.

Most 1:1s never get past step one.

That’s the problem.

The full toolkit goes deeper! giving you a repeatable structure, prompts, and a way to take control of every conversation.

👉 1:1 Leadership Bundle