Gateway to Knowing Your People

Most leaders schedule one-on-ones; often, they get canceled.

Far fewer use them to truly lead and guide their people.

Too often, one-on-ones become routine check-ins—status updates, task lists, quick problem-solving sessions before moving on to the next meeting. But one-on-ones were never meant to be transactional. One-on-ones are about the people.

When done well, they are relational.

They are intentional.

They are transformational.

One-on-Ones Are the Gateway to Knowing Your People

You cannot separate strong leadership from knowing your people. Titles don’t create trust—relationships do.

One-on-ones are where leaders learn:

• What motivates someone beyond metrics

• What they want more of—and what they no longer want

• Where they’re headed and where they feel uncertain

• What pressures from life may be quietly showing up at work

As Peter Drucker famously said:

“The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.”

That’s the heart of a meaningful one-on-one. What’s said matters—but what’s beneath it matters more.

Listening Is the Leadership Skill That Changes Everything

Listening is often underestimated in leadership, yet it’s the skill that unlocks everything else.

Real listening means:

• Being present instead of distracted

• Letting silence work instead of rushing to fill it

• Asking thoughtful questions instead of offering quick fixes

This kind of listening builds psychological safety—the foundation of honest conversations.

Stephen R. Covey captured it simply:

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”

Great one-on-ones flip that script. They slow the conversation down so that understanding can catch up.

Trust Is Built Quietly, Not Dramatically

Trust doesn’t come from a single powerful conversation or a well-worded speech. It’s built quietly, over time.

Trust grows when leaders:

• Remember what was shared previously

• Follow up instead of forgetting

• Respect confidentiality

• Show consistency—not just when it’s convenient

As Brené Brown reminds us:

“Trust is built in very small moments.”

One-on-ones are full of those moments. They’re where people decide—often subconsciously—whether their leader is safe, genuine, and worth following.

The Leader’s Role Is Not to Fix—It’s to Guide

One of the biggest mistakes leaders make in one-on-ones is believing they need to have the answers.

Mentoring leadership takes a different approach.

It asks:

• What do you want?

• What’s getting in the way?

• What support would help most right now?

Your role isn’t to design someone’s career—it’s to help them see their options more clearly.

As John C. Maxwell put it:

“A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.”

Sometimes showing the way means stepping back and letting someone discover it for themselves.

What a Great One-on-One Should Accomplish

When one-on-ones are done with intention, clarity replaces confusion—for both sides.

The employee leaves with:

• Direction

• Confidence

• A sense of being heard

The leader leaves with:

• Insight

• Alignment

• Fewer surprises

That outcome isn’t accidental. It’s the result of listening, presence, and consistency.

A Final Thought from The Genuine Mentor

“A great one-on-one creates clarity for both sides of the table.” — The Genuine Mentor

Build that Gateway to Knowing Your People if you want:

• Better performance, focus on better conversations.

• To know your people, create space for them to speak.

• To lead in a way that lasts, treat one-on-ones not as meetings—but as moments. Moments where listening becomes leadership, and leadership becomes human.

“Leadership is not about being in charge. It is about taking care of those in your charge.” — Simon Sinek

I am currently in the process of building an 8-week program to teach a comprehensive approach to One-on-ones. Follow me and provide your email, and I will let you know when it is available. I will also be looking for a small group to go through this course as a free trial and help me with feedback and possible endorsement.

DISCLAIMER:

This content was created by The Genuine Mentor and is informed by years of professional experience, extensive reading, and thoughtful reflection. OpenAI’s ChatGPT was used as a supportive tool for refinement, grammar, and assistance with information. All content was originally formed by a human and reviewed by a human.

We strive for accuracy in everything we publish; however, readers are encouraged to verify any critical information independently.

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