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Think about how your people may view you! Stranger or someone they trust? The most important part of the conversation is usually the part that never gets said. There’s a moment that happens in almost every one-on-one. Everything looks fine on the surface. The update is clean. The answers are short. There’s no tension, no pushback, no real friction. You walk away thinking, “That went well.” What Your Team Isn’t Telling You in One-on-Ones But something feels off. Not wrong. Just… quiet. And that quiet is usually where the truth lives. Most leaders spend time thinking about what to say in a one-on-one. What questions to ask. How to structure the time. How to make it productive. Fewer leaders stop to consider what isn’t being said at all. Because the reality is simple: Your team is always filtering. Not because they’re dishonest. Not because they don’t care. But because they’re human. They are reading you, just as much as you are reading them. They are deciding:Is this safe to say?Will this be taken the wrong way?Is it worth bringing this up?Does this leader actually want to hear this? And depending on those answers, they hold things back. Sometimes it’s small. A hesitation about a project.A different idea they didn’t share.A concern that didn’t feel worth the risk. Sometimes it’s much bigger. Frustration. Confusion. Doubt. Disengagement. And the hardest part is—you don’t always see it happen. You just start to feel the effects later. The ideas slow down.The conversations get shorter.The energy shifts.People start doing what’s asked, but nothing more. And it can be easy to misread that as performance. But often, it’s distance. One-on-ones are supposed to close that gap. But they only work if people feel like they can show up honestly inside them. That doesn’t happen because you schedule the meeting. It happens because of how you show up in it. People don’t decide in the moment whether to be open. That decision has already been made based on everything they’ve experienced from you before that conversation even starts. By: Your reactions. Your tone.Your availability. How you respond when things go wrong. How you handle pressure. All of it builds a quiet signal. And that signal answers the question your team is always asking: “Is this a place where I can be real?” If the answer is unclear, people default to safe. Safe answers.Safe topics.Safe conversations. And over time, safe becomes silent. So the question isn’t just:“What am I asking in my one-on-ones?” It’s:“What am I signaling outside of them?” Because one-on-ones don’t create trust. They reveal it. This doesn’t mean you need to become someone you’re not. It doesn’t mean overcorrecting or forcing vulnerability. It means becoming more aware. Aware of the small moments that shape bigger perceptions. The pause before you respond. Listening The way you handle disagreement. Calm Whether you create space, or close it. Respect Sometimes the shift is simple. Instead of moving quickly to solutions, you stay a little longer in understanding. Instead of filling silence, you allow it. Instead of reacting immediately, you get curious first. Those small adjustments change what people feel. And when people feel different, they show up differently. The conversations deepen.The honesty increases.The things that were once unsaid start to surface. Not all at once. But over time. That’s when one-on-ones become what they’re meant to be. Not a meeting. But a place where people can think out loud, work through uncertainty, and feel supported in the process. And that’s where real leadership starts to take shape. So the next time you sit down for a one-on-one, pay attention to more than just the words being said. Sit back and focus on less speaking and more listening. Pay attention to what’s missing. Because often, the most important part of the conversation… is the part that hasn’t been spoken yet. I challenge you to do a One on One with 75% of your time listening. It won’t come natural to your people; you will have to use thought provoking questions to start the conversation and then let them go. Be attentive and listen completely, take notes, and bring another question on the same topic next time. Then email me after your third meeting and tell me what changed. Steve.Feller@TheGenuineMentor.com

Most leaders treat one-on-ones like a calendar requirement. The best leaders treat them like their most important leadership tool.   Over the years, I’ve learned that proper one-on-ones don’t just improve communication — they build trust, surface ideas, and create loyalty. When done consistently, they change how your team operates.   Here’s what one-on-ones taught me about leadership. Listening Builds Trust   This first one was gold when I finally started following the proper way to conduct a 1:1. It sounds simple. But in reality — it’s hard.   Listening.   When you sit back, stay calm, and really listen to your people, they start to trust you. And when that trust builds, they open up. Once they open up, you begin to truly understand them.   You start to learn: what they have to offer what they are capable of what is holding them back what drives them what makes them come alive   From there, you can give the right direction. And when you combine the right direction with someone who feels heard, you create a very strong person on your team.   I’ve had employees go from quiet and disengaged to some of my strongest contributors — simply because someone finally listened.   Now multiply that across your entire team.   Think about how strong your team becomes. Think about the culture you start to set. Think about the engagement that naturally follows. Ideas Come From Your People   Another big learning for me was getting your people to share ideas.   Some of the best ideas I’ve ever implemented came from my team — not me.   Again, when trust builds and people feel safe speaking their mind, it will surprise you. People think differently. They approach problems differently. They see things from angles you may never consider.   When you allow that space, better solutions start to emerge.   Many points of view on the same issue gets the best solution on the table. You stop solving problems alone and start solving them as a team. Ownership Changes Everything   Another huge gain from this is seeing how people rally around an idea that was theirs.   Ownership changes everything.   When the idea comes from them: engagement increases execution improves accountability grows pride builds   People don’t just follow the plan — they believe in it.   And when your team believes in what they are doing, your job as a leader becomes much easier. Trust Builds Loyalty   The last huge win, and maybe the most important, is what that trust and safe space builds.   Loyalty.   When you build an environment that people enjoy being in, they stay.   People don’t stay because of policies. They stay because of relationships.   When turnover drops: culture strengthens team cohesion improves knowledge stays in the business growth accelerates   Now you’re not constantly rebuilding. You’re building forward.   This is where you start to reap the benefits of being a true leader. The Hard Part: Consistency   You might read all of this and think — this sounds easy.   But maintaining consistency is hard.   Being there every week. Keeping the momentum. Protecting the time.   Busy schedules, emergencies, and competing priorities are always fighting for your calendar.   The fastest way to damage one-on-ones is canceling them. Your team reads that as: they are not important.   Consistency is what turns one-on-ones from meetings into momentum.   When you stay disciplined and follow through, the rewards show up in your people. One-on-Ones Open the Door   Can you really get all of this from doing proper one-on-ones?   Not by themselves.   You still have to manage the business. You still have to lead. You still have to make hard decisions.   But one-on-ones open the door for all of this to happen.   They create the space for: trust to grow ideas to surface people to develop loyalty to build   The strongest teams I’ve led all had one thing in common — consistent one-on-ones. Want Help With Your One-on-Ones?   If your one-on-ones feel awkward… If they turn into status updates… If you run out of things to talk about… If they lack momentum…   You’re not alone. Most leaders were never taught how to run them properly.   That’s exactly why I created the 1:1 Leadership Bundle.   It gives you: A structure to follow Questions that build trust A format that keeps momentum A way to develop your people consistently   Everything you need to start running better one-on-ones immediately.   You can also work with me directly, and I’ll coach you through the process in just a few sessions.   Visit: TheGenuineMentor.com One-on-ones don’t just change conversations. They change teams.

Servant Leadership, Yes or No In leadership today, there is a shift happening. You can feel it in conversations, in expectations, and in the way, people talk about their leaders. People don’t want to be managed anymore. They don’t want a boss who sits above them, directing from a distance. They want to be led by someone who has their back. Someone who wants to see them succeed. That’s where servant leadership comes in. It asks leaders to move away from control and toward support. Away from authority as identity and toward responsibility. And when it is done well, it changes everything. But before we get there, it is worth saying something most people skip. Servant leadership is powerful… but it is also easy to misunderstand. Because if you’re not careful, what looks like serving can quietly turn into avoiding. We will come back to that. First, let’s talk about what makes this approach so impactful. The Benefits of Servant Leadership 1. Empowered and Motivated Teams Servant leaders create space for people to contribute. They emphasize collaboration, encourage open communication, and most importantly show trust. When people feel valued and supported, they don’t just work harder. They show up differently. Motivation becomes internal, not forced. 2. Enhanced Employee Satisfaction When leaders focus on the well-being and development of their people, the environment shifts. People feel seen. They feel invested in. And that leads to loyalty not because they must stay, but because they want to. 3. Improved Decision-Making Servant leaders don’t assume they have the best answer in the room. They ask. They listen. They include. By trusting their team and allowing room for mistakes, they unlock perspectives that would otherwise stay hidden. 4. Cultivation of Trust Trust doesn’t come from titles. It comes from consistency, transparency, and genuine care. Servant leaders build trust by showing up the consistently, especially when times are difficult and by trusting their team in return. 5. Adaptability and Innovation Servant leaders build environments where learning is continuous and change is not feared. By delegating responsibility and encouraging new ideas, they allow teams to grow beyond the leader. 6. Increased Productivity Productivity is not about pushing harder, it is about removing obstacles. Servant leaders' step in early, remove barriers, and create clarity so people can perform at their best. 7. Personal Growth and Development Servant leadership develops people beyond performance. It supports growth at different speeds and embraces the reality that if you lead well, people may outgrow you—and that’s impact. 8. Social Responsibility and Impact Servant leadership often extends beyond the workplace. It creates a culture where people care about others, not just results, and that mindset carries outward. 9. Long-Term Organizational Success Servant leadership is not a tactic, it is a foundation. By prioritizing people, leaders build cultures that last and create sustainable success. 10. Their Success Is Your Success When your team grows and succeeds, so do you. Shift the focus from ‘I’ to ‘we.’ Talk about team wins, take responsibility for losses, and build trust through ownership. Where Servant Leadership Gets Misunderstood Some leaders hear “serve your team” and translate it into avoiding hard conversations, saying yes too often, carrying more than they should, and protecting people from discomfort. And it feels right. It feels supportive. It feels kind. But leadership does not pause when things get uncomfortable. And people don’t just need support. They need clarity, direction, and honesty. Serving your team does not mean removing all pressure. It means helping them navigate it. The Balance That Actually Works The best leaders don’t choose between serving and leading, they do both. They listen—but they also guide. They support—but they also challenge. They care—but they also step in when it matters most. They don’t hide behind kindness. They build on it. Closing Thought Servant leadership is not about stepping back. It is about stepping in with intention. It is about recognizing that leadership is not defined by control, but by the impact you leave on the people around you. What is your answer, Servant Leadership, Yes or No? So yes—embrace servant leadership. But don’t stop there. Be willing to lead within it. Because the leaders people remember aren’t just the ones who supported them, they are the ones who helped them grow. More in depth articles, trainings and videos, go to my main site. The Genuine Mentor

Most leaders schedule one-on-ones; often, they get canceled. Far fewer use them to truly lead and guide their people. Too often, one-on-ones become routine check-ins—status updates, task lists, quick problem-solving sessions before moving on to the next meeting. But one-on-ones were never meant to be transactional. One-on-ones are about the people. When done well, they are relational. They are intentional. They are transformational. One-on-Ones Are the Gateway to Knowing Your People You cannot separate strong leadership from knowing your people. Titles don’t create trust—relationships do. One-on-ones are where leaders learn: What motivates someone beyond metrics What they want more of—and what they no longer want Where they’re headed and where they feel uncertain What pressures from life may be quietly showing up at work As Peter Drucker famously said: “The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.” That’s the heart of a meaningful one-on-one. What’s said matters—but what’s beneath it matters more. Listening Is the Leadership Skill That Changes Everything Listening is often underestimated in leadership, yet it’s the skill that unlocks everything else. Real listening means: Being present instead of distracted Letting silence work instead of rushing to fill it Asking thoughtful questions instead of offering quick fixes This kind of listening builds psychological safety—the foundation of honest conversations. Stephen R. Covey captured it simply: “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” Great one-on-ones flip that script. They slow the conversation down so that understanding can catch up. Trust Is Built Quietly, Not Dramatically Trust doesn’t come from a single powerful conversation or a well-worded speech. It’s built quietly, over time. Trust grows when leaders: Remember what was shared previously Follow up instead of forgetting Respect confidentiality Show consistency—not just when it’s convenient As Brené Brown reminds us: “Trust is built in very small moments.” One-on-ones are full of those moments. They’re where people decide—often subconsciously—whether their leader is safe, genuine, and worth following. The Leader’s Role Is Not to Fix—It’s to Guide One of the biggest mistakes leaders make in one-on-ones is believing they need to have the answers. Mentoring leadership takes a different approach. It asks: What do you want? What’s getting in the way? What support would help most right now? Your role isn’t to design someone’s career—it’s to help them see their options more clearly. As John C. Maxwell put it: “A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.” Sometimes showing the way means stepping back and letting someone discover it for themselves. What a Great One-on-One Should Accomplish When one-on-ones are done with intention, clarity replaces confusion—for both sides. The employee leaves with: Direction Confidence A sense of being heard The leader leaves with: Insight Alignment Fewer surprises That outcome isn’t accidental. It’s the result of listening, presence, and consistency. A Final Thought from The Genuine Leader “A great one-on-one creates clarity for both sides of the table.” — The Genuine Mentor Build that Gateway to Knowing Your People if you want: Better performance, focus on better conversations. To know your people, create space for them to speak. To lead in a way that lasts, treat one-on-ones not as meetings—but as moments. Moments where listening becomes leadership, and leadership becomes human. “Leadership is not about being in charge. It is about taking care of those in your charge.” — Simon Sinek If you want more indepth trainings and coaching, come to my main site The Genuine Mentor

I Was not the Manager… But I Started Leading Anyway I remember sitting at my desk one afternoon staring at a problem that had been sitting unresolved for days. Everyone knew it needed a decision. Everyone was waiting for the manager. But he wasn’t there. Eventually someone looked at me and said, “So… what do you think we should do?”   There was a point in my career when people started coming to me for direction. The problem was… I wasn’t the manager. And the manager wasn’t really managing either. Decisions that needed to be made were hanging in the air. Conversations that needed to happen weren’t happening. And the work didn’t stop just because leadership had stalled.   At first, I did what most people do. I stayed in my lane. I told myself things like, “That’s not really my call.” Or, “Someone above me will eventually deal with it.” But the longer it went on, the more uncomfortable it became. The team was waiting for direction. Problems were sitting unresolved. Momentum was starting to slow down and eventually I realized something simple. Waiting wasn’t helping anyone. That was the first moment I realized something about leadership. Sometimes it appears long before the title does. The Moment You Start Seeing, What Others Don’t If you stay in business long enough, you’ll notice something about certain people. They see gaps. Not because they’re smarter or more ambitious, but because they’re paying attention. They notice when something important is drifting, when clarity is missing, or when leadership is quiet in moments where it should be loud. That awareness can be uncomfortable. Because once you see it, you can’t really unsee it. You’re left with a choice. You can stay safely inside your job description, or you can start helping the situation move forward. Many careers change the moment someone decides to lead before they are asked.   The Small Decisions That Change Things   In my case, I didn’t make some dramatic declaration that I was taking charge. It didn’t look like that at all, it started with small things. Clarifying priorities when people were unsure what mattered most. Making minor operational decisions so work didn’t stall. Helping people think through problems when there wasn’t guidance coming from above. Some of those decisions probably weren’t technically mine to make. But doing nothing felt worse, so I pushed the envelope a little. Not in a reckless way. Just enough to keep the wheels turning. Leading Without the Title   Looking back now, I realize something important about that period. I wasn’t trying to “take over.” I was responding to responsibility. Leadership has a strange way of showing up like that. Sometimes it arrives long before the title does. A gap appears, and the people who eventually become strong leaders are often the ones who feel a pull toward that gap. They don’t necessarily want authority. They just can’t comfortably ignore the situation. They help the work move forward. And people notice. The Risk of Pushing the Envelope Now, I want to be clear about something. Managing up or leading when leadership is absent is delicate territory. If done poorly, it can look like arrogance or stepping outside your role and possibly trying to undermine someone above you. That was never my intention.   My focus was always the work and the people around it. If something needed to move forward, I tried to help it move forward. If a decision needed to be clarified, I tried to clarify it, not perfectly, but honestly, and over time something interesting happened, People started coming to me with questions. Not because I had authority — but because I was already helping carry responsibility. The Career Effect of Quiet Leadership At the time, I wasn’t thinking about career strategy. I was just responding to what the moment required. But those moments shape reputations in ways we don’t always realize. Leaders above you notice who leans forward when things get difficult. They notice who waits, and they notice who quietly helps situations move forward. Those observations tend to follow you longer than any job description. Looking back, that period probably propelled my career more than I understood at the time. Not because I was trying to stand out. But because leadership often reveals itself in the moments where responsibility is unclear. The Real Lesson One of the biggest misconceptions about leadership is that it starts with a promotion, in reality, it often starts much earlier. It starts when someone sees a problem and decides not to ignore it. It starts when someone is willing to carry a little more responsibility than their title requires. It starts in the uncomfortable space between “this isn’t technically my job” and “someone needs to move this forward.” Most people spend their careers waiting to be given leadership. But many leaders discover it first in moments where no one asked for it. A Question Worth Asking   If you find yourself in a situation where leadership feels absent or slow, the question isn’t: “Should I take over?” The better question might be: “What responsibilities can I carry here that helps things move forward?” Sometimes the answer is small. Sometimes it’s significant. But those moments have a strange way of shaping the kind of leader you eventually become. Final Thought   Leadership isn’t always assigned. Sometimes it appears in the quiet moments where someone decides that standing still isn’t the best option. And sometimes the person who wasn’t supposed to be the leader yet… becomes one anyway.   Those moments shape careers more than promotions ever do. I’m curious — have you ever been in a situation where leadership was needed but the manager wasn’t stepping in? What did you do?   If you enjoy reflections like this, I write about leadership the way it actually feels inside organizations — the quiet moments, the tough decisions, and the responsibilities that rarely show up in job descriptions.   That’s what The Genuine Mentor is all about. For a longer alternate version of this article go to: https://www.thegenuinementor.com/post/leadership-before-the-title

Do You Actually Like Your One-on-Ones? Or are you just sitting through them? Here’s how to run effective one-on-ones that your team actually values.   Let me ask you something most people won’t say out loud: Do you actually get anything out of your 1:1s?   Not just “they’re fine.” Not just “we check in.”   I mean real value.   Because if you’re walking out of those meetings feeling unchanged, unclear, or unheard… then something is off. What a 1:1 Is Supposed to Do   A one-on-one should benefit you just as much, if not more, than your leader. That’s the standard.   You should be walking away with: A clear growth path in your career Better understanding of your role and expectations A space where your voice actually matters   If you’re not getting those things, you’re not in a productive 1:1. You’re in a routine meeting. What a 1:1 Is Not   Let’s call this out clearly.   A 1:1 is not: A status update A report-out session A planning meeting   Those have their place—but not here. This time should be focused on you. Your growth. Your clarity. Your direction. What Do You Do If Yours Isn’t Working?   This is where most people get stuck. They sit in bad 1:1s for months… sometimes years… waiting for their leader to fix it.   Here’s the truth:   You don’t have to wait. Take Control of the Conversation   Over the years, I built a 1:1 leadership toolkit designed for leaders. But here’s what most people don’t realize: There’s no reason you can’t use that same structure yourself. If you’ve never experienced a strong, growth-focused 1:1… then build one. Think about where you want to grow Identify what clarity you’re missing Outline what a productive conversation would look like   Then bring it into the room.   Not as a complaint. Not as a challenge.   But as a step forward. What’s the Worst That Happens?   You ask: What’s the worst outcome? You stay exactly where you are today.   But the upside? You completely change the value of every future conversation. This Is Called Managing Up   Taking ownership of your growth isn’t overstepping. It’s leadership.   I call it managing up—not in a political way, but in a responsible one.   You’re not waiting to be developed. You’re stepping into it. Final Thought   If your 1:1 isn’t helping you grow, don’t just sit in it. Build what it should be. Then bring it forward.   Because your career shouldn’t depend on whether someone else runs a good meeting.   It should depend on whether you’re willing to take ownership of it. If this hit home for you, I’ve built something to help.   1:1 Leadership Toolkit   Over the years, I created a 1:1 Leadership Toolkit designed to turn these conversations into real growth sessions, not just routine meetings.   It walks you through: ·       How to structure a meaningful 1:1 ·       What to bring into the conversation ·       How to focus on your growth, not just your tasks   Whether you’re a leader or someone looking to take control of your development, this gives you a clear path forward.   If you’re ready to stop sitting through 1:1s and start getting value from them, this is for you.   👉  1:1 Leadership Bundle 🔍  Preview: What a Strong 1:1 Looks Like   Before you even get the toolkit, here’s a simple structure you can start using immediately:   1. Start With You (5–10 min) What’s working? What’s not? Where do you feel stuck?   2. Growth Focus (10–15 min) What skills are you building? Where do you want to go next? What do you need more exposure to?   3. Clarity + Direction (10 min) Expectations Priorities Any confusion in your role   4. Open Space, Usually the Leaders Closing (5 min) Anything that needs to be said—but usually isn’t. Most 1:1s never get past step one. That’s the problem. The full toolkit goes deeper! giving you a repeatable structure, prompts, and a way to take control of every conversation.   👉  1:1 Leadership Bundle