I Was not the Manager
- Steve Feller
- Apr 4
- 4 min read
I Was not the Manager… But I Started Leading Anyway
I remember sitting at my desk one afternoon staring at a problem that had been sitting unresolved for days.
Everyone knew it needed a decision.
Everyone was waiting for the manager.
But he wasn’t there.
Eventually someone looked at me and said,
“So… what do you think we should do?”
There was a point in my career when people started coming to me for direction.
The problem was…
I wasn’t the manager.
And the manager wasn’t really managing either.
Decisions that needed to be made were hanging in the air.
Conversations that needed to happen weren’t happening.
And the work didn’t stop just because leadership had stalled.
At first, I did what most people do. I stayed in my lane. I told myself things like, “That’s not really my call.” Or, “Someone above me will eventually deal with it.”
But the longer it went on, the more uncomfortable it became.
The team was waiting for direction. Problems were sitting unresolved. Momentum was starting to slow down and eventually I realized something simple.
Waiting wasn’t helping anyone.
That was the first moment I realized something about leadership.
Sometimes it appears long before the title does.
The Moment You Start Seeing, What Others Don’t
If you stay in business long enough, you’ll notice something about certain people.
They see gaps.
Not because they’re smarter or more ambitious, but because they’re paying attention. They notice when something important is drifting, when clarity is missing, or when leadership is quiet in moments where it should be loud.
That awareness can be uncomfortable. Because once you see it, you can’t really unsee it. You’re left with a choice. You can stay safely inside your job description, or you can start helping the situation move forward.
Many careers change the moment someone decides to lead before they are asked.
The Small Decisions That Change Things
In my case, I didn’t make some dramatic declaration that I was taking charge. It didn’t look like that at all, it started with small things. Clarifying priorities when people were unsure what mattered most. Making minor operational decisions so work didn’t stall.
Helping people think through problems when there wasn’t guidance coming from above.
Some of those decisions probably weren’t technically mine to make. But doing nothing felt worse, so I pushed the envelope a little. Not in a reckless way. Just enough to keep the wheels turning.
Leading Without the Title
Looking back now, I realize something important about that period.
I wasn’t trying to “take over.”
I was responding to responsibility.
Leadership has a strange way of showing up like that. Sometimes it arrives long before the title does. A gap appears, and the people who eventually become strong leaders are often the ones who feel a pull toward that gap. They don’t necessarily want authority. They just can’t comfortably ignore the situation.
They help the work move forward.
And people notice.
The Risk of Pushing the Envelope
Now, I want to be clear about something.
Managing up or leading when leadership is absent is delicate territory.
If done poorly, it can look like arrogance or stepping outside your role and possibly trying to undermine someone above you.
That was never my intention.
My focus was always the work and the people around it.
If something needed to move forward, I tried to help it move forward. If a decision needed to be clarified, I tried to clarify it, not perfectly, but honestly, and over time something interesting happened, People started coming to me with questions.
Not because I had authority — but because I was already helping carry responsibility.
The Career Effect of Quiet Leadership
At the time, I wasn’t thinking about career strategy. I was just responding to what the moment required. But those moments shape reputations in ways we don’t always realize.
Leaders above you notice who leans forward when things get difficult.
They notice who waits, and they notice who quietly helps situations move forward.
Those observations tend to follow you longer than any job description.
Looking back, that period probably propelled my career more than I understood at the time. Not because I was trying to stand out. But because leadership often reveals itself in the moments where responsibility is unclear.
The Real Lesson
One of the biggest misconceptions about leadership is that it starts with a promotion, in reality, it often starts much earlier. It starts when someone sees a problem and decides not to ignore it.
It starts when someone is willing to carry a little more responsibility than their title requires.
It starts in the uncomfortable space between “this isn’t technically my job” and “someone needs to move this forward.”
Most people spend their careers waiting to be given leadership. But many leaders discover it first in moments where no one asked for it.
A Question Worth Asking
If you find yourself in a situation where leadership feels absent or slow, the question isn’t:
“Should I take over?”
The better question might be:
“What responsibilities can I carry here that helps things move forward?”
Sometimes the answer is small.
Sometimes it’s significant.
But those moments have a strange way of shaping the kind of leader you eventually become.
Final Thought
Leadership isn’t always assigned.
Sometimes it appears in the quiet moments where someone decides that standing still isn’t the best option.
And sometimes the person who wasn’t supposed to be the leader yet… becomes one anyway.
Those moments shape careers more than promotions ever do.
I’m curious — have you ever been in a situation where leadership was needed but the manager wasn’t stepping in?
What did you do?
If you enjoy reflections like this, I write about leadership the way it actually feels inside organizations — the quiet moments, the tough decisions, and the responsibilities that rarely show up in job descriptions.
That’s what The Genuine Mentor is all about.
For a longer alternate version of this article go to:
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